Hope

“Our screws get loose because we want to do everything ourselves, and our weak bodies and minds can’t handle too much. Do not be afraid to let go. Somebody will catch you. I assure you that. Let the world be… Do not waste your talent. Serve the world and you will not even receive the pay that you deserve. Serve God and you will receive much more than you deserve, even in this life. Do it out of love, and you’d not even want to be repaid because love itself would be your reward… The simple life is the best life.
–from a very close friend and sister who I consider to be in a “spiritual expressway”

This is just a portion of an exchange of emails from a friend, a friend who I do not always get to talk to as much as I’d want. But somehow, when life puts me in a bind that I cannot get out of, she just pops out to say hi, like the daisy sent by heaven to remind me of the things that matter most in life. This was Heaven’s most recent digital telegram in the midst of my distress, at the time that I was in severe war with parts of myself.

It is quite hard to ignore the ways that I got redirected recently.

Sometimes, the Universe’s ways can get so violently jolting. We see tiny subtle signs and then we ignore a lot of those tiny signs, telling ourselves that we will get back to it “later”.

Further on in time and a bunch of “laters” after, the message comes back screaming at you in a manner that you can no longer ignore. Flat out, sometimes the Universe will paralyze you if only to get your full attention. It can hurt you if necessary.

There is this whole thing of decoding the tiny signs and withdrawing into silence to understand what each specific situation requires. Some people are blessed to have this life of solitude, silence, and prayer. Contrary to what most people think, this type of cloistered living is not a walk in the park. It is a spiritual expressway that has its own crosses. And the rest of the world is a bit of a spiritual dirt road compared to it.

I find that even when I distinctly shut my eyes to the path, the messages still gets through to my bones. Because you cannot really “unsee” what you have already seen in a profound way that eludes all intellect and logic. You can only pretend to be occupied with other things but you cannot “unsee” the things that matter the most in life once you have been able to see it even for just a moment in time. You can be hardheaded but fully knowledgeable and more accountable for what you have seen and what you have done or not done.

You may be able to convince others that it does not matter to you but deep inside, you will know that it does matter. The desire for the road less taken never really went away even after you have stuffed yourself with things to keep you busy.

The road less taken may not necessarily be in the form of riding a spiritual expressway. It may just be a simple decision like increasing one’s love and decreasing one’s absorption of self. It matters little where you are. It matters more where the heart is at any given time.

It may be a simple but firm NO to situations that are not aligned with your goals in life. It may just be a simple life preference that hinges on a greater principle. The size of the task does not matter as much as the intent with which it was done.

When we encounter trials, it is so easy to just say life is unfair. It kind of misses the whole point of recognizing that the same deep well of suffering opens up a greater container for fulfillment in the next bend of life. One’s capacity to suffer reflects the equal magnitude of capacity for joy. You suffer more when you have a bigger heart, it’s an inevitable thing. And it’s so convenient to shrink one’s heart and keep it all hassle-free. But all the joy of life comes when you learn to take risks and open yourself up to people.

All I have right now is immense gratitude for Heaven’s digital telegrams, strategically delivered to me at forks in my life’s roads. Even at the seeming dead end where I personally refused to proactively seek and listen, the message still gets delivered. It’s more of a rescue, if you ask me. Yep, that message was the rope that led me to see some light after being in darkness for a very long time. I am fully convinced that every person has the capacity to transmit important messages in another person’s life. It’s part of how we are wired to watch out for each other in this thing called life.

And after feeling so much pain, gratitude and hope is once more made possible. Even when I have forgotten the sense and the words, these digital telegrams slowly and patiently sing back to me and remind me of the music that makes my soul dance and soar…

For every single note that I listen to in this divine score, I find the missing pieces. Even if I started out with tiny splinters and fragments that do not always make sense, something good and special is forming.

Hope is the glue that puts it all together.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *