I was often told that when life gives you lemons, you need to make some cool lemonade. It’s the metaphor for positivity under any circumstance. However, if all these things of life were lemon in literal form, I’d be having a hundred pitchers by now. Enough for a frigging drinking stand! 🙂 It’s crazy, I know. But I have come to accept that lemons are as permanent as change, and giving a simplistic solution such as “making lemonade” won’t quite cut it when you’ve got a truck full of them unreasonable lemons standing in the way.
I did find that the unreasonable lemons often have their own truck loads of lemons themselves. They needed to overflow their stress to someone else and project all that unreasonable thing to ease themselves. It’s not fair, but I have come to accept that some people relieve themselves in that manner much to the aghast of the rest of the world.
Cutting them some slack has been helpful in some instances with no monumental damage. Many things of my life recently are tests for self-control and tests of my personal principles about life. Holding back my opinions and turning them into the bile that resides in my throat, for one, saved me from a possible verbally volcanic eruption.Somebody told me that I caused an inconvenience to him. I did not apologize but I did not lash back in my usual fierce way. Fundamentally, he caused his own inconvenience and he violated our initial agreement which makes all the other premises moot for his claims.
On an another situation, however, when they expected me to just shut up, I decided to signify some disapproval at what I consider to be a blatantly wrong scenario to perpetuate. Nobody stood by me, but it helped me make important decisions based on what I discovered about the situation and about myself as a person.
We basically don’t have rewinds in life; just that, our individual compasses on what makes us tick and what makes us sick gets heightened over time. I have somehow learned to choose my battles carefully. Months of introspection and holing up in the black hole of many a text document gave me that, in some way.And the more time we spend away from the North of our personal life compass, the more miserable and hypocritical we become.
At this point, although it does not make for a popular decision, I can stand in a room and say genuinely that I want this and I don’t want that, that I can take this but I cannot tolerate that. Somehow, even when no one else has got my back for the things that I stand up to or even if I get castrated for being honest, I can now say that I can be fine with that and IDGAF. It feels so much better to know who I am, what I want, and what I stand for (and against).
I think that some people have a right to be in a phase of being unreasonable. Take for example, my friend who just got traumatized by the recent Typhoon Haiyan. If she acts weird on me, I’d perfectly understand it. However, if someone so smart and rich and powerful and practically of sound mind will do something completely unreasonable and throw me off-guard, I’d probably have a different reaction. I guess that’s why my reactions are inconsistent. Sometimes, I make the lemonade thingamajig; other days, I’d probably throw the lemon back with some extra sourness just to shake the person back to some semblance of non-acidic sanity.
Eventually, when all the lemon-throwing and lemonade making is over, I am inclined to think that even the lemons only probably want to be happy and they cannot give what they do not have save for their sour and (not so) sorry asses. And I worry that if I let them get to me, I’d become exactly what they are now: self-perpetuating lemons.
I think the challenge is to be as resourceful as possible. It’s not enough to just mix with the lemons. I’d like to find sugar canes and pockets of sweetness in other places, people, and things.
And after today’s basket of lemons, I’m quite happy to sweetly chronicle my life while lying in a soft bed in front of a functional electric fan. The TV is on for some light late night viewing. A novel sits beside my left leg and I am about to peruse it before I doze off and put the telly on aut0-sleep.
Little things. Spoonfuls of sugar to an otherwise acidic day in the life of a twenty-something.
So let me just update my mantra: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. SWEETEN to taste. 🙂