I was initially trying to read Milan Kundera’s “Immortality” the last few days but it seems like it wasn’t the right time to tackle that book, charming as it was. In line with some recent experiences in cyber romance, I decided to take on “Marriable”, a book by Hayley and Michael DiMarco.
The authors met through an online dating website. And I completely agree when they said that online dating is “no longer for the desperate.” I liked the layout of their book and was interested in Hayley’s “Mean Girls” series (promoted at the back pages of this book). I was no longer searching for a partner since I have my Paulo, but the insights were pretty sound. There were some things I could not relate to, but that’s fine. The writing is clear and simple so I managed to finish it in less that five hours today. It’s like talking to a couple friend because they had those cute side notes aside from the main text or body of the book. I can imagine having a cup of coffee with them in a secluded corner of an urban shop. It gave off that kind of friendly vibe.
Based on this couple’s criteria for a person to be “marriable,” I still have some items to work on. It’s pretty to have an almost itemized, objective, or somehow mathematical scoring system to help evaluate one’s “marriable” factor, although I found some standards to be quite subjective and rigid. It runs in direct opposition to lessons in, say, my college Panitikang Pilipino 19 class, where gender roles are debunked. The book was heavy in stereotypes. I understood that the stereotypes were needed to structure their arguments. But it kind of limited the audience who can appreciate it in its entirety. If I didn’t have the same background as the authors, I’d have to go out of my way to grasp their logic. Some readers do not like that. I, in particular, like to be led in to make my own realizations than be spoonfed. But people who like directly and clearcut assertions will like the crystal clear tack the couple employed in sharing what worked for them in finding each other. It’s still less preachy and more artistically depicted compared to other dating books I’ve read. And I’ve read so many.
It still eludes me how so many awesome single people miss the chance of getting to know each other. The power of introducing people has been scoffed at by some people. But it actually works. In fact, I found my own boyfriend after a common friend introduced us. We were textmates for six months before I finally agreed to go on a first date. If I was not so open about the whole virtual romance and getting-to-know-you thing, I would have missed out on having this wonderful relationship.
After a year of romantic bliss, I decided to pay the blessing forward. I kept my eyes open and on the lookout for some single and searching friends in my network. Last August, I was just horsing around and I introduced my writer friend to an engineer friend. My writer friend, Mauee, just celebrated her 25th birthday yesterday (happy birthday sis! Love u!). And while I initially introduced them so that they can both make the most of their Blackberry Messenger, the two ended up Skyping and tweeting and emailing despite the five-hour time difference. The story is not for me to tell at this point, but all I can say is that I am genuinely happy at how things are turning out.
Virtual romance has redefined the dating scene. Two thousand miles can be bridged by a few keystrokes at this time and age. I am amazed. The DiMarco couple’s approach on online dating is pretty sound and can be useful to anyone who wants to find the right person while taking advantage of the available technologies.
Well, virtual or not, true love still prevails amidst a sea of cynicism and whatnots. 🙂