Here in Part 2 of Nay Blessie and Tito Neil’s story, we get advice from them on what made their love story a success. Some people are amazed that I am doing this for free. In reality, I believe I am paid beyond the monetary gains with this project. After years of lamenting and asking pointless questions about romance, I decided to shift my energies to the other end of the spectrum of questions: “What is right?”, ‘What contributes to the success of a relationship?”, and “What makes it work?” Some people made it despite the difficulties. And, through this series, I hope that this blog’s readers may also gain insights from them.
The world already has more than enough resources on heartache. I had my fair share of tears in this department and based on the numerous women who can relate to my heartache posts, most of us, in retrospect, already habitually ask ourselves the “What’s wrong with me?” question when we go to bed. And often, we only get eye bags for the next day, more negative vibes to last until God-knows-when, and zero tangible answers. Enough is enough! Haven’t we tortured ourselves enough by wasting time with the wrong person/s?
While there is no foolproof formula that will work for all couples and celibates in the world, in the second part of each love story, I allow the couples or fulfilled singles we feature to give advice to both single and married readers on what worked for them.
And since I interviewed a candid and prolific online editor and writer for the first love story we featured here in this post, I will let her own words take it from here:
Nay Blessie’s Message for the Married Folks
You know, people fall in love and people fall out of love. Marriage was made so that when you fall out of love, you are forced to stay together until you fall in love again. But when leaving is an option, some people never get the chance to fall in love again. Impatient, they are, and near sighted.
Remember that when you got married, you did not only promise to your mate that you would stay for better or worse. You also made that promise to God. And though your mate, being human, would break his/her promise, God never does. So you may feel validated in breaking your promise to your mate, but how can you excuse breaking your promise to God who never breaks his promises?
Pray to God. Ask him to give you the strength to stay, the wisdom to change yourself, and to stop expecting change from your partner. Stop being a drama queen. We’ve all been lied to, betrayed, hurt. If your physical life or the lives of your children are not at stake, there is no valid reason to go. Grow up.
For the Singles: How Nay Blessie Found that He is “The One”
We were both willful, so we had constant power struggles. We both had tempers and no inhibitions about showing them. I was ready to give up on him, but I felt I had received a sign from God that this was the man he wanted for me. You see, I had always said that the man I marry has to come from UP. Neil did not know I had said that, and he had never finished his college course in Mapua either. But when we were together, he enrolled in the UP Open University, which made him a UP student. That, for me, was a sign.
There was another one. You see, Neil’s big failing was that he was not very good at earning money. He would sell things and fail to collect payment. He wouldn’t stay at a job long enough to be regularized. But I had a dream wherein I had the chance to choose between a rich man and Neil, and there I found that I would rather stay with Neil than with some rich man. Then I knew for sure that my heart yearned towards him.
But though I loved Neil, I could not marry him. At that time, he was jobless, and I was a starting public school teacher, on a Php10,000 salary. Our plan was to wait until we were financially stable before getting married. Then I chanced upon a book about Joshua crossing the Jordan river and entering the Promised Land.
Do you know that the first time the Israelites came upon the Promised Land, they turned back because they did not believe God could really lead them across the raging Jordan River and the high walls that surrounded the land? For decades after that, they wandered in the wilderness. Then in Joshua’s time, they returned and faced the Jordan River again. But this time, they believed God would see them through against all odds. And he did. He stopped the Jordan River — but he waited for them to step in it first before the waters stilled. And he made the huge wall fall.
I did not want to wander in the wilderness, waiting for God to fulfill a promise that he knew I did not believe in. So Neil and I put our feet into the Jordan River, so to speak, and got married.
Today, we are still not financially stable (can you imagine? We should still be single). But we are blessed with three beautiful children, and we are working on our dreams together, and we are, in fact, richer materially now than we had been when we were single, with only ourselves to take care of.
He still loves many of the things I hate, and we still quarrel at the top of our lungs.
But we are together, and at the end of the day, that’s what matters most.