This is for people who messed up a good relationship (friendship or otherwise) and want to fix things. May this entry serve as an inspiration for you to make that phone call, send that email draft, and just GET IN TOUCH with that person you want to patch things up with. It is worth it. Worth millions. No words or monetary amount can equal the feeling of PEACE OF MIND that comes after. And if you are as lucky as me, you get your friend back when you swallow your damn pride. That just happened to me today; trust me, it’s the next best thing to having a perfect world.
The beginning of trying to fix things is always the hardest part. There are proud thoughts, inhibitions and fears that must be swallowed. I actually contemplated for a year before composing that peace-laden email message I sent her. When you are meant to patch things up with someone, the opportunity just comes up. You have that ITCH inside of your heart that compels you to write that sorry letter or whatever. And you won’t be able to get it out of your head if you don’t obey.
I was afraid of her reaction. I feared that it will not be taken in the way I meant it. But all fears were dissipated when she replied and said that she wanted us to continue talking as the adults that we are now.
But I had my moment of “epiphany” in the University of Sto. Tomas chapel. She studied Journalism there. I was reviewing for the board exam at that time, and I offered a Mass for the board exam. All the while, I can’t get the image of her out of my head. I knew that I HAD TO MAKE AMENDS. She did try to keep in touch by adding me on FB and YM before my board exam review, but I was not ready to talk to her just yet. It’s all God’s perfect timing. He wanted me to be the one to break my pride and initiate the peace process.
And this afternoon, we just chattered through email again. I am so happy. And so is she. I actually endured the rough bus ride home without the iPod playing on my ears. Reality was just too beautiful to let the small stuff burst my bubble today.
Call it pathetic but our friendship was tried because of immaturity, kababawan and lack of time for catching up. Truly, it is the little accumulated things that cause dents in an otherwise pitch perfect friendship. I am just so grateful we did not elevate our decisions then to life-changing ones that would have made making peace completely impossible.
Here I am, a book editor. And there she is now, a magazine editor. What fine buddies we make, in reality. We both started out in our writing from scratch. Somehow, even after we diverged our paths from years back, we managed to see our individual writing efforts pay off. God has shown us our respective vocations.
And this vocation was also the link which eventually enabled us to reconnect. After all these years, we still have those things in common that got us pretty close to begin with, some years ago. Writing is the biggest thing on that list of common things. By far, sending her that email is one of the best decisions I have made in my entire life.
I honestly think that the two of us cannot really stay mad at each other for too long (although 5 years IS a long time); we have too many passions in common to just throw it all away. We are both born on September, addicted to books, passionate about writing and addicted to the online world. That’s just one of the many things we share.
Most importantly, we have that monster side that pretty much chemically bonded us as friends even in our formative years. Good thing we have mellowed with time, and I am just super happy to be reconnected to a friend I thought I have lost forever.
The weird thing about it was that I emailed her a lot again today as if nothing happened between us before. My basic instinct of spoiling her is still there. Sure, there are people now that I am required to be formal with, but with old friends like her, it’s ridiculous to put on airs. For her, I am still that crazy friend, way before I got my license and this editor job. For me, she remains to be that doting big sister and daughter to her family.
We have already achieved so much since we last talked, it’s already beyond us to gab about it and strain the communication lines that we have just opened up with “adult” formality or a gap that will make fixing things much harder.
Maybe I just missed her very much and I was just excited at the prospect of us having patched things up for good. But basically, we just picked up where we left off, so to speak.
I am just happy. And I know that if people were more brave to make attempts to fix things with those broken relationships, this Christmas will be much, much happier for a great deal of people.