There are people like me who aren’t really much of a long-term thinker and who are not into strategies. we are the types who make stupid decisions and learn things the painful and hard way. Not that we mean to do so. We are just such trouble magnets and it just happens seamlessly if left unchecked.
But this irritating dumbing down often gets worse when we are in love…
Initially, I refused to change myself. I was thinking that I had a right and license to do with my life whatever I see fit. I also thought people have no right to feel hurt with my decisions, even when these decisions harm me a lot.
Kasi ginusto ko yun.
Yes, we are free. But to force people just to accept as we make harmful decisions to ourselves is not part of that freedom. Especially, it does not hold true for the ones who love us the most.
Because those who love us most involuntarily get hurt when they see us hurt. Their hearts break when ours do. And they are left to pick up the shattered pieces with us when things go so bad. And they feel it their duty to jolt us back to our senses when we are getting lost and darkened by our despair.
Whoever said that genuinely getting involved in another person’s life was an easy task? It meant as much joy as tears.
So sometimes, when people like me engage in a very self-destructive pattern, these loved ones become fierce, even angry because they get hurt each time they see us hurt ourselves. They have that instinct to PROTECT us from the things that harm us. They will fight with us if necessary just to show us that we are going in the wrong direction.
Being good to one’s self and making sound life decisions is not just something we do to ourselves. It is also something we do for the sanity of those who love us. And having succeeded in our own tendencies to be stupid and put ourselves in a mess, we in turn get empowered to protect other people who are younger and need our positive influence.
With the many things I have done wrong in the past, that I still have friends who endure my heartaches with me is nothing short of a miracle… I just got lucky, I guess.