>years ago, i was a highly frustrated person. life was such a mix of things i did not understand then.
a question i often get asked that remained unanswered until this month:
what the heck am i doing in engineering when i know deep inside that i am a writer at heart?
i loved my english classes in UP, whatever little there was that my course could allow me to take.
but there was no leaving my engineering degree.
i could have easily slinked out of the college and shift out. people were kicked out left and right. i was not the honor student. having finished was nothing short of a MIRACLE for me.
but i did not leave, much less get kicked out. such irony, considering that i survived financially through my writing. leaving would have been the most logical thing for me to do.
cliche as it may sound, i knew that something else is driving my life. there must be a reason for all these.
but it was so difficult at that time. because i did not know where i was going, much less what i wanted to do with my life.
in comes this very specific middle-level opportunity to be able to do my two great loves together.
a job that involves writing and engineering.
who cares about the pay? heck, if this job did not pay a dime and i survival was no issue, i would have gone for it still. no questions asked.
but that’s the other thing. the pay is as handsome as the job description.
when i was a doe-eyed freshie in UP, i would not have known that a position like this existed.
editor and engineer.
i know that competition is fierce, but a girl’s gotta try, right?
so i put on my best corporate outfits for the many days they required me to go there. =) such joy. i was so restless in waiting but i did them all with so much bliss in my heart.
i can’t even find the right words to express it.
i have the feeling that for the first time in my life, things FIT. things actually FALL into place. one passion not having to be placed under the rug in favor of practicing the other.
i initially prioritized a banking career and was a bit frustrated with my application process in some of the banks i have been checking out.
i had it all made, or so i thought. even before i got my license, i had eyed this bank that i want to be in.
during college days, i was really open to the adventure of appraisal work and city planning. i had a thing for GIS before, but that’s not really something I’d die for. i was more of the office type, even when i had a lot of experience doing field work in school.
dismayed with how the banks didn’t fit me as well as i had hoped, i was just trying to find a technical writing job that could at least accommodate my two favorite fields albeit remotely.
at one point or another, graduates and licensed people have this phase of clicking on jobstreet mechanically, unsure of where to begin…
but today, i am around two steps to being hired for this one rare job opportunity.
to think i did not have any “backer” to help speed things up on the inside. I am only relying on my credentials and my instinct.
And who needs a human backer when you have been storming Jesus with mental postcards to Heaven every morning? In this phase, I am the persistent woman rapping on my neighbor’s door. I was Zechariah in the sycamore tree. I was the Mary by his feet when it came to asking for this particular thing.
I called to St. Josemaria Escriva and to Our Lady of Guadalupe for help each day as I waited for this.
Being in their office is a super experience for me. The essential oil smelled great and it was like fresh linen hovered over the white-painted walls.
And as my eyes surveyed the entire vicinity, I felt like a missing piece of my career soul is lodged there somewhere. I was MADE for this. TRAINED for this.
The whole place itself is beckoning for me to pour out all my life’s learning and longings in one of their desks. Embracing the engineer and writer that I am.
This was not the first time I saw them. I was first drawn to their bookstore exactly a year ago. I was just walking after a harrying graveyard work shift. And then I saw their classy bookstore. I fell in love with the bookstore.
Who would have known that they will have a job opening right after I had my oath taking as a geodetic engineer? Only God.
Have you ever wanted something so bad you just held back tears because you might jinx everything with a tear drop? That’s how it feels right now. Like every part of my body is tensed, all the chords of life are taut with anticipation for what will become of this job application.
And while I wait, I passionately do the things that helped me survive in college. What else? Writing online content, that’s what. haha. =) I have not loved it any less. I started here in the Internet.
I got my magazine article published in Manila Bulletin before thanks to a Friendster post. I got editing jobs and a lot of other writing rakets since then.
God is so good. I am hoping for the best.
If in case I don’t get this job, I will surely cry for days. Maybe even a month. But I will move on and accept if it does come to that.
But deep inside, I am not even thinking of that possibility.
I know that if God planted this in my heart this intensely, there must be something to it.
I just believe. After all the things God has done for me, this is just a piece of cake for Him.
Now that I have gotten that out of my chest, I am finally ready to work again! Yey! Thanks blogger. haha.