Dear lie…you suck.
seems like a line lifted off from a song.
for me, the chorus is the best:
“Get out of my mouth
Get out of my head
Get out of my mind
Stop putting words in my head
GET OUT OF MY MIND
YOU’RE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE!
Get out of my life…
Get outta me outta me outta me outta me
LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE, LIE!”
While we are on the topic of lies, I tend to connect that with what people consider to be BAD things. Lying is bad, white or not. It’s inherently bad because it deceives. I struggle with this too sometimes, but I try my very bestest best to stay honest in everything.
With me being honest, I shall admit that I have read some snippets of Jay Panti’s book. It’s that 85 pesos book from National Bookstore with a woman’s underwear in the cover. I did not buy it. I have other titles to attend to, and this was not the genre I typically enjoy.
It just happened to be lying about the house one time when I was alone in the living room. I don’t know who left it there. Me being the bookworm, I just had to leaf through the pages a little.
When it comes to books, I am a bit of an undiscriminating reader. Even when I don’t get engaged in the cover or first few pages, I just had to skim at the very least. My curiosity is unbounded, true. But often, discoveries and unlikely connections emerge from this insatiable attachment to words.
I opened the front page because I wondered what’s in there that has sense in it. Because I half-expected it to be just another green joke book. And I wanted to chide the person who left that book in our living room and suggest other types of wholesome reading material.
Yes, there were parts I will not be happy for my 10-year-old sister to see or read. I will not recommend it to people, unlike some of the books I have read. But one particular anecdote struck me. It was when Jay confessed and the priest told him not to fret or worry about the bad things he has done. Because he can always be used as a bad example.
But what will the world be without bad examples, right? It will be a Utopian world. And people will no longer need God because they have it all made somehow.
And ALL OF US become examples at one point or another.
Me. I used to be a negligent girl. I used to do stupid things.
But that’s the thing; I fall down and THEN I MOVE FORWARD. I try to make things better for myself and for the people around me.
You know what’s the more awesome thing about having a bad reputation and then picking yourself up? YOU INSPIRE PEOPLE TO CHANGE. That it’s possible to change things and set things right.
One more thing: People who came from a bad past DO NOT JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE when they mess up their lives. They do not stand on self-righteous pedestals of “What stupidity!” and “I told you so!”. They help other people, and they know how to deal with them, having been in the exact same mess.
And they help people get out of trouble really well because they have the tools, the tools that the inexperienced and self-righteous monsters will never be able to possess.
When Christ came to earth, he dined with the sinners and tax collectors. They were the detritus of society. Elegant and beautiful as the Christian movement is now, it all started with the flaw-filled minority.
Think about THAT, especially for those who have the tendency to view themselves so highly and judge the rest of the population of the world with undeserved and condescending disdain. People like…. How scary to think that the very person sitting and praying beside you in the church pulpits are actually the devil incarnates themselves waiting to victimize you with that kind of attitude.
But I have learned not to associate these fake Christians with God. Because God is all perfection and the fullness of Love. And the institution, hurt as it may be by the scandals of these modern-day Pharisees, can continue to be a solace of love and hope in the middle of all the heartaches and pains of this world.
Such bold statements early in the afternoon. I think all my Rice in a Box lunch carbohydrates just went into those previous paragraphs I typed in. I am hungry again.
But I know that I am hungry not with physical rice and viand or cake. I am hungrier inside my soul with this desire: to meet and relate with more GENUINE Christians who walk their talk, follow their own advice and really love people in the fullness of faith hope and charity.
I know that I will still get to meet the genuine ones in this life, no matter how badly I have been burned by the fake ones who put on a good show and hide their misdeeds and the darkness of their soul in the vanity and pride of their clothes and “classy, refined” lifestyles.
There are already some people I get to be with who are not as bad as the rotten in the bunch. I just had the misfortune to get involved with some rotten apples, but that does not mean the whole barrel is corrupted.