unruffled

>These days have been far from being idle. I have meetings here and there, tasks to do for different people. And yes, my own personal promise to pamper myself comes up from time to time.

Who would ever think I am unemployed fulltime at the moment? Even watching glee on TV is becoming a rarity.

I had this lifestyle prior to taking the board exam. I practically filled my calendar to the brim and it was super stressful.

Surprisingly, I am supposed to be stressed by my four part time stints. But I am not.

Since I started resuming my mental prayer routine in the morning, there is a certain quieting of my mind that makes everything seem to run serenely.

Sure, there are kinks for a couple of minutes just as a good dress has small wrinkles that can be ironed out over time. There are minor irritations like smelly bus seatmates and a troubled atm user ahead in the line who tried to withdraw money for the nth time and the nth minute.

Yet… Things fall into place. Thankful for the Hand that holds everything with me. For that fifteen minutes I spend each morning mentally aligning myself to Him, the rest of the 24 hours just work out fine. I no longer seem to need more than 24 hours a day even when tasks seem to swimmingly wade up my neck.

I also noticed that I only get bothered when I try to pattern myself in a certain way or compare myself to others. There are ideal principles, but each person’s path is marked out differently.

The pie of the world’s resources is more than enough for everyone. No need to hoard; no need to get worried if somebody gets a good break while I still patiently wait for my turn in the sidelines.

My friend’s stepmom’s words still resonates in my ear even months after our last conversation.. “People and relationships are more important than things.”

And it was so true. :-)

Much of life’s sweetest moments are not in the tempered chocolates that delight the senses for a moment; the sweetest moments are those when kindness and love is sown to one’s self and to others.

Made a point to include sowing kindness to one’s self because some people seem to forget that duty.

I try not to jump up and down when thinking of that dream job that is so close but so far at the same time. I just try to sit still and relish where I am now.

Enjoying the journey while I pine for the destination. Unruffled, at that.

>Eat Pray Love

>”Ruin is a gift. It is a road to transformation. And we must be always prepared for waves of transformations.”
-elizabeth gilbert, epl.

I spent my morning with mom and harvey, and the afternoon with my girl pals carol, mitch and ann rosette. We are the C.H.A.R.M. group during our freshie days in U.P. It stands for the letters of our names, aside from what I hope to be the female charm we four have in common.

It was so much fun meeting with them. And I have been dying to watch EPL since two weeks ago. J’ai de la chance; the movie was still showing at Trinoma Cinema 2! And I feel a bit sorry for being insistent to watch it. Rosette had something else in mind, but I believe they enjoyed my pick. Haha.

Hours flew by with them. Wasn’t it only yesterday when Carol was freshly married or Mitch was chubby wearing her hiphop shorts in school or Rosette hardly wearing any makeup or fancy clothing… And me, well, there were a lot of changes too…

Now, Carol is hands on raising my English speaking inaanak who wins contests. Manang mana kay ninang… Rosette is almost in marital bliss; she looks great and has become a girly girl even with her outfits. And Mitch is now wearing braces, lost all of her baby fats and looks ravishing.

I hope I looked better too, as they are. But I settled with blending in for the recovery might add some years to my aura for awhile.

There were some promises for future sleepovers and making this a monthly thing. I am so looking forward to that.

The realizations from the Julia Roberts movie deserves another post made when my brain is at its freshest best…

Meanwhile, I shall bask in the art of doing nothing.
Let’s cross over… Later. Haha.

>park bed and breakfast hotel

>After a painful decision of ending a romance, my balm of healing came from a hotel room. No, it is not what you think. I spent the night in Malibay’s new hotel with my mom and sister Harvey.
There is something about being alone…
The allure of solitude beckoned to me once again, like a tiger licking its wounds so that it can spring much higher after its fall.
I savored each moment in transit. There was some intimate cord that makes Pasay’s streets seem so homey and unwelcome at the same time. I embrace the irony.
Aboard the train on my way to this place, I saw the pink hues of the sky along Jones Bridge at sunset. It was as if a huge pink cotton candy was swirled and flattened on the gray sky. Like a retarded child who accidentally did a masterpiece on canvass.
But God is no retard and He does not commit accidents…
I journey again back to being child like. Childlike, not childish.
There was once upon a time in my life where everything was filled with wonder. Where the mundane stuff like entering a mall seems like entering a cave of wonders.
Yesterday, I said goodbye to two dozens of roses that symbolized two people who desperately tried to make it work. At the expense of themselves. It was a romance that began and later departed from grace.
The pain will stay for awhile. The sting will come when Time bids the true signs that everything is now a thing of my sorry past.

But I know that things will get better. I might have some more of these days like here at the hotel now. Crying when no one is watching. And just watching other people and things the rest of the time.

It does not make sense now. It does not have to, really. When the puzzle pieces do not seem to form anything, glue all those brokenness with hope and faith.
They will get better. They have gotten better before. And in this life, the only legitimate action is to keep moving forward.

Life will be roses and chocolates anew when my time comes for it. And I will have my world of wonders again, hopefully never to be taken away again.