ako, artista? =)

RB, and i was waiting for hunny as well. And then there was this woman who came up to me. Suspicious, I clutched my bag tighter. Baka MODUS OPERANDI (MO) . False alarm! TALENT SCOUT PALA ANG HITAD! So ang haba ng hair ko ngayon dahil kinukuha akong artista. bwahahaha…. I have an appointment with her this saturday. Seriously, I thought she was joking when she asked me: “Hi Miss! Interesado ka bang sa pag-aartista or modelling?” Actually, she first asked me kung nag-appear na ko sa film or commercial or show because my features are typical artista material… hmmm…. F na F ko na tuloy yung offer niya… binobola pa ako! I thought: Hellur! Of course I want to earn more cash! =) Plus free clothes when you’re in modelling! Preening is my expertise and vanity is never a sin or a problem with me! oops, i think some of you don’t like that. i really don’t mind. =) but I tried to appear nonchalant about it… I said, “ah eh… ano pong pangalan niyo?” pero excited na ako non at tinetext ko na ang barangay namin. mag-isa lang kasi ako nung kinausap niya ako… walang nagchecheer for me. ang lungkot naman namnamin un mag-isa di ba… it feels better when someone tells you:”kinukuha kang artista sheng! nice!” yung ganon. =) yung masaya talaga para sa akin… I still believe in the saying that I should not talk to strangers, so I got her to show me her ID and stuff. You know, just so I could be sure na talent coordinator nga siya and not some bluff or bugaw. Well, outside ABS-CBN and GMA siya so pwede siyang magpasok on both networks. She has contacts on on both Kapuso and Kapamilya. Seems like she wants the latter better than channel 7 kasi una niyang in-offer na role sakin ay kapatid ni Bea Alonzo sa pelikula. hehehe… tsaka sabi niya pwede raw ako sa billboards -print ads of clothing labels and stuff… hmmm…. writing… studying… singing… now modelling? not that i’m complaining. i’m really enjoying the attention i’m getting. akala ko talaga joke kasi that’s the second time a talent scout talked to me. The first time was when I was 6 years old. Kinukuha ako sa springmaid toothbrush commercial. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali, nasa mall kami ng mommy ko non. Lagi ako sa mall nakikita ng mga ganitong tao… kaso ayaw pumayag ng tatay ko. Sana artista na pala ako ngayon kung ginawa ko ung toothbrush commercial na yun. Ay mayron pa palang isa… sinasali din ako sa Little miss Philippines ng Eat Bulaga dati… ayan na nahukay na tuloy lahat ng mga rejected offers for exposure ko dati… imagine, people appreciate me pala even when i’m not trying. it’s a good feeling. someone saw you. it means you actually existed. sometimes i feel like i’m just a small person in a big world. when things like these happen, i think, i can really make my dreams come true, cause someone appreciates me. i find it easy to appreciate and encourage others, but sometimes, my well runs dry. parang no one appreciates me at all. i sometimes feel like my absence or existence does not mean anything to anyone else but myself. that’s a sucker feeling i don’t dwell on. minsan kasi when you’re all too familiar with someone, you forget to tell them how much you mean to them. ganon ata madalas nangyayari pagdating sa akin. yung mga kamag-anak at kaibigan ko expect nila alam ko na na love nila ako at hindi na kailangan na sabihin pa. pero minsan di ba parang gusto mo ring marinig yun kahit alam mo na dapat given na yun? assurance lang… pero alam ko naman love nila ako kahit hindi nila sabihin. minsan lang i feel unloved cause i don’t hear it that often. =) tsaka ang taba ko nga e. my waistline is 28, my clothes barely fit, i have Garfield’s belly and lifestyle. Sedentary. I don’t exercise. I eat 6 rice meals a day, usually with second servings pa nga e… Ganon ako katakaw. Ang daldal ko pa. Hindi ata ako mabubuhay sa kumbento dahil mababaliw ako kapag wala akong kausap. So I do occasionally see myself as a fat, unattractive and KSP girl. Makapal lang talaga mukha ko kahit ganon. Yun naman puhunan sa buhay eh. No pain, no gain. Which also reminds me, I wouldn’t have gotten the Manila Bulletin job if i didn’t approach the boss and applied for it kahit undergraduate pa ako. Lakasan lang ng loob e. Hindi ka na nga perfect, magpapakadaga ka pa! Talo ka na maaga pa! Life just fleets by… “65 years goes by in a blink”, sabi nga ni Bill Parrish (Anthony Hopkins) sa “Meet Joe Black”. So seize the day. Seize the moments. And live each dy as if it’s your last. Someone saw me amidst the belly fat and the voracious appetite for food/getting good grades/being appreciated. Someone thinks I’m star material. I have my dose of inferiorities. =) Hindi nga lang halata. Feeling kasi ng iba hindi ako makakarelate sa mga ganong bagay dahil wala na daw akong proproblemahin sa mga ganon at maswerte na ako… totoong maswerte ako but that doesn’t mean wala akong problems… or that my problems are not as big as anyone else’s. Kanya-kanyang hurdles yan e. You can never compare the depth. So we are all given equal talents and equal trials to get by. Sa dami ng sinabi ko dito mas sigurado ako: As long as someone believes in me, kahit isa lang siya… I can get by with life. =) I ask myself again… ako, artista? hmmm… pwedeeeeh! =) nde kayo pwedeng umangal. blog ko toh e! =) hehehe…]]>

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